the search for meaning

There are four “givens of existence” (according to Yalom, American Existentialist Psychiatrist) which are an intrinsic part of all of us, and that we must reconcile ourselves with these at some point in our life. These “givens” are the stage on which our search for meaning is set. They provide the context for our lives. He believed that these “givens of existence” lie deep in our subconscious and that at some stage in our life that we may have to confront them. The four “givens” are,

Ø Death. This is the most obvious one. A core existential conflict is the tension between the awareness of the inevitability of death and the wish to continue to be.

Ø Freedom and responsibility. Although generally thought of as a positive thing, freedom from an existential perspective refers to the complete lack of any external structure to life. He believed that there is a conflict between the groundlessness and randomness of our universe, and a wish for ground and structure. And linked to this is the immense responsibility that such freedom brings. According to Yalom, “The individual is responsible for … his or her own world, life design, choices and actions”. You have to write your own life script. Otherwise you will end up with much anxiety and depression.

Ø Isolation. We enter this world alone, and we must leave it alone. Yalom thought that another existential conflict was between our innate awareness of our absolute isolation and our desire for continued contact with others and our need to be part of a larger whole.

Ø Meaninglessness. Man is, by design, a meaning-seeking creature. Yalom believed that a fourth existential conflict arises for man because he has been thrown into a universe that has no meaning.

Viktor Frankl, an Austrian Psychologist and holocaust survivor believed that a feeling of meaninglessness is the major existential neurosis of modern life. Meaninglessness leads to existential vacuum and stress. This condition is often experienced when people do not busy themselves with routine or with work. But not too much busyness. People must create their own meaning. Many people ending up in counselling experience meaninglessness and a lack of values associated with a meaningful life. As Frankl puts it, “Ever more people today have the means to live, but no meaning to live for”.

Nietzsche (a German Philosopher) said, "He who has a why to live can bear almost any how" Finding satisfaction and meaning is a by-product of engagement which is a commitment to creating, loving, working and building. Meaning in life is an on-going process we struggle with throughout our lives.

People look to work, social relationships, interests, family, and religion to provide meaning. When things are going smoothly in these areas of life, people experience their lives as meaningful. They feel connected with life. They have a reason to live and a healthy desire to continue to strive for goals that make sense. People in these circumstances generally do not question the meaning of life. However, when things go wrong in any important area of life, such as the unexpected death of a loved one, a relationship breakup, or the loss of a job, people may then begin to question the meaning of life; the assumptions on which they had built their lives are challenged and anger may result.

“One of the tasks of the therapeutic process is to help clients create a value system based on a way of living that is consistent with their way of being” (Corey, an American Psychologist).

To search for meaning is to seek self-transcendence, which means to step out of ourselves and serve someone (or something) bigger than oneself.

If you are interested in creating meaning in your life we would be delighted to work with you at www.holisticcounsellingireland.com.