how to become mentally stronger

Mental strength is having the natural or developed psychological edge so that you are better able to handle stresses in life and remain resilient. It requires a high level of focus, determination, confidence, and control throughout daily activities. It is being able to block out what is not important and not getting side-tracked. It is being immune to gossip and remembering that most people will like you and some will not, not for any reason. It’s just that the “chemistry” is not there. So be it. We get on with life and not be restricted by what people might say about us.

What makes us mentally strong? There are many things and some of the key ones can be summarized under the 4C’s.

4.1 Concentration
This is the mental quality to focus on the task in hand. It is being mindful of what it is we are doing in the present moment. As Jack Nicklaus, a famous golfer once said, "Concentration is a fine antidote to anxiety.”

Mental energy should be focused on factors that you can control. It is good to remember the following:

“God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference”.

4.2 Confidence
Confidence is a positive state of mind and a belief that you can meet whatever the challenge is. It’s a feeling of being in control.

“Believe you can and you’re half way there.”
 Theodore Roosevelt.

Confidence is to believe in oneself and one’s abilities. Confidence results from the comparison you make between whatever you are doing and your ability. You will have self-confidence if you believe you can achieve your goal. If you have little confidence in your own abilities, you are likely to experience high levels of stress and anxiety in situations. When you have self-confidence you will tend to persevere even when things are not going to plan. Show enthusiasm, be positive in your approach and take your share of the responsibility in success and failure.                                                     
To improve self-confidence, the use of mental imagery can be powerful. Self-talk can be used. We talk to ourselves every day. It’s a technique that can enhance motivation. It makes use of our powerful inner voice to reinforce self-esteem. With appropriate repetition, self-talk can positively alter one’s belief system.

"Many people succeed when others do not believe in them.  But rarely does a person succeed when he does not believe in himself." Herb True, author.
 

4.3 Control
Control is the ability to maintain emotional control regardless of the distractions. Identifying when you feel a particular emotion and understanding the reason for the feeling is an important stage in helping us gain emotional control. Your ability to maintain control of your emotions in the face of adversity and remain positive is essential to success. Two emotions that are often associated with poor performance and results are anxiety and anger.

Anxiety is a natural reaction to threats and part of the body’s preparation for the “fight or flight” response. The threat is to our ego, our sense of self-esteem. The somatic state anxiety can be described as autonomic arousal and unpleasant feeling states such as nervousness or tension. But nerves can energize you by making your adrenaline flow. However, we must be able to control it. Relaxation and imagery can be great friends. When you become angry, the cause of the anger often becomes the focus of attention. This then leads to a lack of concentration on the task, performance deteriorates and confidence in ability is lost which fuels the anger – a slippery slope to failure.

 4.4 Commitment
Commitment is the ability to continue working to agreed goals regardless of the set-backs. It is about staying devoted, consistent, and resilient toward something meaningful. Sometimes it is not easy. It requires:

Self-Discipline; The ability to stay focused even when motivation fluctuates.
Perseverance; Overcomingsetbacks, failures, and hardships without giving up.
Accountability; Taking responsibility for your actions and following through on the promises that you made to yourself.
Sacrifice; Prioritising long-term goals over short-term satisfaction.
Emotional Investment – Having a deep interest and belief in what you’re committing to.

There is a separate Blog on techniques to use to become mentally stronger.