The Importance of self-talk for mental health

The Importance of Self Talk for Mental Health

For all of us, negative internal messages and thoughts are among the biggest contributors to feeling anxious. If we talked to our friends the way we talk to ourselves we’d have no friends left. The goal is to replace the negative self-talk with more positive messages; this will reduce the anxiety.    

For example, you may not be able to change a pressure situation but you can definitely change your reaction to it using a technique called “cognitive restructuring” or changing the way you look at it. The idea is that by restructuring a pressure situation in your mind you can learn to interpret it as a challenge. Anxiety will not help because it makes us focus on what might go wrong rather than on what we have to do right now.

A person who continuously tells themselves that they are not going to be able to do a certain task will rarely succeed. However, if they practice replacing such statements with a positive one, “I’m going to be able to do it” (with practice of course), then it will only be a matter of time. Believe in yourself and you’re half way there. While this may not seem like it can work, over time and with repetition any of us can develop a new habit of thinking positive statements and thoughts and expect a more positive outcome. It’s this connection between the words and the belief that is the ultimate goal of this technique. Our beliefs determine our thoughts, which in turn determine our words which leads to action or behavior. Negative thoughts may lead to negative behaviour. Likewise, there is a much greater chance of positive behavior when we have positive thoughts.

Research supports the theory that a person who continuously practices positive self-talk will improve his or her outcomes. Creating a visual picture of doing exactly what is desired can have tremendous results because the brain does not differentiate between reality and imagination. This image, along with the words, are a powerful combination that creates a positive message tied to a belief.

It is very important to learn to re-structure your thoughts whenever a negative one creeps into your mind. A good tool to remember, according to James Barraclough, a psychologist, is TEA time:

THOUGHTS

EMOTIONS

ACTIONS.

Your thoughts affect your emotions which affect your actions. So, if you have negative thoughts, you will feel negatively emotionally and consequently your actions will suffer. If you can replace the negative with a positive the opposite will be true, leading to positive actions.

When you experience a negative or unwanted thought (cognitive anxiety) such as “I just don’t want to be here today” or “This person annoys me”, or whatever the thought is, try putting a large red stop sign in your mind’s eye.  Hold this image for a few seconds then allow it to fade away along with the thought. If you wish, you can follow this with a positive self-statement such as “I am going to make the best of the situation” or “I am not going to allow this person to control my life”. Thought-stopping can be used to block an unwanted thought before it escalates or disrupts your life.

According to Scott Goldman, Psychologist, “Another way to derail your unproductive thoughts is to think of your mind as a computer and delete the ‘unproductive thought’ files. Visualize yourself pressing the delete button and watching the file move to your trash.” This will help to clear your mind and allow you to focus on positive thoughts.

Choose words that inspire you, motivate you, make you laugh or boost your mood.

If you would like to explore this further or practice it, please contact me, Dan Boland, on 087-2555974 or by email holisticcounsellingireland.com.